Darth Vader, the Emporer's right hand, had a crush. Not a crush on any old Imperial officer, of course. A crush on a bounty hunter.
His name was Boba Fett, and he was the most awesomest, most amazing bounty hunter ever. Sure, he was identical to every single other Stormtrooper out there, but Vader didn't care. He could always tell his Boby apart from all the others.
Boba was good at what he did, and when Vader said, "No disintegrations.", there were no disintegrations. Vader liked that in a man.
So when Boba propositioned the Dark lord of the Sith, Vader didn't turn him down.
It was great sex, too. Vader rammed his vibroblade into Boba's sarlacc like rampaging AT-AT. Boba didn't really make noises, as he only said something like ten words throughout the entire original trilogy which was later redubbed with Temuera Morrison's voice anyway.
When it was over, Boba was feeling clingy. "This means you love me, right?" he asked Vader. Vader didn't answer and smoked a cigarette through the hole in his helmet, even though tobacco didn't exist a long, long time ago in a galaxy. It was still horrible on the lungs, though, especially if you didn't have any lungs.
Vader felt a was of disgust at the way Boba had changed. Perhaps he didn't actually have a crush on him.
"Do not underestimate the power of the Dark Side," he told Boba.
"Huh?" Bob said.
"I'm dumping you," Vader explained.
"Oh," Boba said.