May 30th, 2009

on the bridge

I'd blame finals, but that's probably not it

So I've been reading waaaaaaaay too much TOS fic, which is not necessarily a bad thing, except I'm definitely one of those new skool readers who feel that the old skool fic was good for what it was, but thank god the melodrama has taken a back seat these days. I like my romances less tragic and overwrought, thankyouverymuch. Well, except for Kirk/Spock, I guess. Their romance is tragic and overwrought enough in canon that I just want more overwrought tragicness from the fic.

Things I have spent a lot of time reading that I would probably never touch with a ten foot pole in other fandoms:
1. Soul bonding - Have I told you guys lately how much I loathe soul bonding? Arguably, it's canon, but normally I can't stand blahblahblahmadeforeachothermysticalconnection bullshit. But in this fandom, I will let it go! And like, I will read it happily if it doesn't get too obnoxious.

2. Pseudo-Shakespearian dialogue - Also canon, also very annoying. The use of 'thee' and 'thy' and 'thou' makes me want to cry.

3. First-person POV - This is something I would simply backbutton immediately without any mitigating factors, mostly because first person is tricky and hard to get right, and quite frankly, I just don't like to be that close up and personal with the characters.

4. Spock crying - No, seriously. I have read it. All the way to the end.

5. Loving descriptions of Spock's alien penis - Seriously, it's like the writers are having a "how weird can we make Spock's genitals?" competition. I think the tentacle thingies win, but the apparently common double-headed cock thing is still in the running. Or even the retractable penis. Or the constant use of 'jade' as an adjective.

In addition, I spent a lot of time in Canada thinking about what sort of songs would make awesomely trashy Kirk/Spock Lord King Bad Vids. My winner so far seems to be "I Will Always Love You" which is clearly about Spock's decision to go to Gol and all the stoic manpain that came with that decision. There could even be Star Trek XI footage!

It is possible that I may have just lost my mind.