thedeadparrot (thedeadparrot) wrote,

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Title: Walk On
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: None
Summary: "In order to create, you first need to destroy." Ed and Al, afterward.
Notes: Unbetaed. I really suck at titles. On a completely unrelated note, it's snowing. w00t.

You have to destroy to create. Every alchemist knows this.

Ed learned that too late. It seems so simple now. The three steps to alchemy. Understanding, deconstructing, reconstructing. In order to create something, you have destroy it, take it apart, before it can be rebuilt.

mom? mom?

mom's not coming back, al.

His brother's a suit of armor. His brother. A suit of armor. Ed can't forgive himself for that. There are things that you just don't do to the people you love.

Maybe Al doesn't hate him. Maybe Al doesn't believe that this is all his fault. But it was Ed's idea. His plan. Al just went along for the ride. Al was the one who paid the greater price.

It's an empty life, this one. Ed sits in a wheelchair all day, watching the world go by. Sometimes he will talk to Al, who doesn't sound the same. His voice echoes, coming from what seems like nowhere. They don't say much because they have nothing to say.

Ed feels broken inside, and he doesn't know how to fix it.

it was my toy! you said you wouldn't do anything to it!

i told you i was sorry. what else can i do?

Granny Pinako has taken them in. Winry casts them confused, worried looks. They love him, love them, but they don't fully understand. They don't know alchemy. They don't know why this is all Ed's fault.

Ed doesn't have any desire to practice alchemy anymore. You only have to be burned once to know that you shouldn't play with fire.

Al hasn't practiced any either, but he's probably just following Ed's example. Ed's still the older brother, still the one Al defers to. Not that you can tell from his expression. Ed knows him so well, and yet it feels like he doesn't him at all.

Al doesn't remember, and maybe that's why he's unafraid of the consequences. Ed's not sure he wants Al to remember. He's not sure that Al wants to remember either.

do you think this is going to work?

it's just science, al. of course it's going to work.

Mustang offers them a way to rebuild themselves. Certification. To a twelve year old. Money, resources, the military at his fingertips. Just sell your soul, kid, and all this can be yours. Screw your teacher and her teachings, they can never offer you the things you need.

Ed knows the man has his own agenda, and he hates the thought of being a pawn on the lieutenant colonel's chessboard.


It's hope, and it glows more brightly than the guilt.

brother, what do we do now?

i don't know.

Automail is pain. Ed can't think, can't feel. He needs this, though. He needs to walk again. Al is there, with his blank, expressionless face. The face that Ed gave him.

He thinks he may have talked after the procedure. Anything else besides the hurt. Anything to distract yourself. Pain will do that to you.

They feel different, the auto-mail limbs, and Ed doubts he'll ever get used to them. They're phantom limbs, pale shades of the original.

When he stands again, he has a purpose. A goal to achieve.

He's still broken, but he understands.

are you sure you want to do this, brother?

if it will help us restore ourselves, i have to do this.

They burn down the house. Their home. Al understands why they have to do this, at least. Their home goes up in flames, and they watch.

They will have another home, but it isn't this one. Not here, not now. But somewhere, someday. Ed can rebuild. He can make it right. He can make it up to his brother. This is not their end. This is their beginning.

In order to create, you first need to destroy.

Tags: fic, fma
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