thedeadparrot (thedeadparrot) wrote,

Stolen from yahtzee63:

Write down twelve characters (numbered), and then answer the questions behind the cut. No peeking!

1. Bruce Wayne (Batman)
2. Maes Hughes (Fullmetal Alchemist)
3. Jack Bristow (Alias)
4. Ben Hawkins (Carnivale)
5. John Constantine (Hellblazer)
6. Luke Skywalker (Star Wars)
7. The Narrator (Fight Club)
8. Roy Mustang (Fullmetal Alchemist)
9. Paul Atreides (Dune)
10. Obi-Wan Kenobi (Star Wars)
11. Gareth Keenan (The Office)
12. Tim Canterbury (The Office)

1. Who would make a better college professor, 6 (Luke Skywalker) or 11 (Gareth Keenan)? What subjects would they teach?

Luke, definitely. He's basically a Jedi teacher in the EU, and yeah, would you want Gareth anywhere near a bunch of young women? Not that I'd expect he'd get anywhere, but still. Not a good idea in any way, shape, or form.

2. Do you think 4 (Ben Hawkins ) is hot? How hot?

Err, kinda? I find Nick Stahl hot, but in an unconventional sort of way. Also, Ben's omnipresent layer of dirt is kind of a turn off.

3. 12 (Tim Canterbury ) sends 8 (Roy Mustang) on a mission. What is it, and does it succeed?

Tim would ask Roy to set all of Gareth's pencils on fire simultaneously as a prank. Only for a few seconds, of course, nothing really harmful. Depending on what kind of mood he was in, Roy might do it, though he would try to delegate the mission to Hawkeye before she would remind him that he's the Fire Alchemist and not her.

4. What is or would be 9's (Paul Atreides ) favorite book?

I have no clue. Irulan does write a lot of books about him, but we don't really get to see him study much, though there is that one scene where he reads from an Orange Catholic Bible. That's about it.

5. Would it make more sense for 2 (Maes Hughes) to swear fealty to 6 (Luke Skywalker), or the other way around?

Hughes might swear fealty to Luke if he believed that the Jedi were doing the right thing. He's always been something of a follower of sorts, though he would definitely be willing to call Luke out on anything he thought Luke was doing wrong. Luke to Hughes? Not so much.

6. For some reason, 5 (John Constantine) is looking for a roommate. Should he share a studio apartment with 9 (Paul Atreides) or with 10 (Obi-Wan Kenobi)?

I think he'd call them both self-important wankers, but he'd be much more at ease with Obi-Wan, because Paul's followers might become a little more annoying, and really, rooming with the God-Emperor would be at odds with his "lay low" philosophy. Though Obi-Wan might irritate him with lectures on morality and messing about with Black Magic/the Dark Side.

7. 7 (The Narrator ), 2 (Maes Hughes) and 12 (Tim Canterbury) have dinner together. Where do they go, and what do they discuss?

Well, they'd probably go to the pub, and Hughes would annoy everyone with his pictures, Tim would be nice and ask all the right questions, and The Narrator would probably look really, really bored and wish he were beating some guy's face in instead of listening to How Alicia Lost Her First Tooth.

8. 3 (Jack Bristow) challenges 10 (Obi-Wan Kenobi) to a duel. What happens?

Obi-Wan gently, but firmly backs out, stating that Jedi are keepers of the peace, not fighters, but then Jack does something really sneaky (so sneaky I don't know what it is!) and gets him anyway.

9. If 1 (Bruce Wayne) stole 8's (Roy Mustang) most precious possession, how would he get it back?

He wouldn't.

Though Wayne Manor might go down in flames again.

10. Suggest a title for a story in which 7 (The Narrator) and 12 (Tim Canterbury) both attain what they most desire.

"In Which The World Does Not End And Dawn Actually Says 'Yes'" It is lame, I know.

11. What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted 4 (Ben Hawkins) and 1 (Bruce Wayne ) to work together?

There's some kind of mystical mojo going down in Gotham City, and a really old Ben Hawkins, who knows a thing or two about mystical mojos, is hunted down and interrogated by the Batman.

12. If 7 (The Narrator) visited you for the weekend, how would you get along?

Badly. I'd probably see him coming and run in the opposite direction as quickly as I possibly could.

13. If you could command 3 (Jack Bristow ) to perform any one task or service for you, what would it be?

Maybe if I had an world leaders I wanted dead...

14. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw 11 (Gareth Keenan)?

No. :(

Dear flist,

Write me Gareth fic, h0rs.


15. If 2 (Maes Hughes) had to choose sides between 4 (Ben Hawkins) and 5 (John Constantine), which would it be?

He'd probably find both of them sketchy, but he'd feel more of a kinship to John's sketchiness, the tricksy bastards, and side with him.

16. What might 10 (Obi-Wan Kenobi) shout while charging into battle?

Not much of anything, since most Jedi don't really yell stuff while charging into battle.

17. If you chose a song to represent 8 (Roy Mustang), which song would you choose?

I have an entire fanmix on this subject, but yeah, probably "This Fire" by Franz Ferdinand or maybe "Firestarter" by Prodigy.

18. 1 (Bruce Wayne), 6 (Luke Skywalker) and 12 (Tim Canterbury) are having dim sum at a Chinese restaurant. There is only one scallion pancake left, and they all reach for it at the same time. Who gets to eat it?

Bruce, most likely, since Luke and Tim are just too damn nice.

19. What might be a good pick-up line for 2 (Maes Hughes) to use on 10 (Obi-Wan Kenobi)?

"Is that a lightsaber in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

20. What would 5 ( John Constantine) most likely be arrested for?

He already was, for murder, though my guess as to what it would be now would be destruction of public property or obstruction of justice or something like that.

21. What is 6's (Luke Skywalker ) secret?

He's the son of one of the biggest badasses in the universe? Just maybe?

22. If 11 (Gareth Keenan) and 9 (Paul Atreides) were racing to a destination, who would get there first?

Paul, definitely, though Gareth would probably insist that he could have beat Paul, if he wanted to.

23. 3 (Jack Bristow) and 7 (The Narrator) tell conflicting versions of events. Which is more reliable?

Well, I'd probably want to get a third(fourth?) party, because The Narrator's got multiple personalities and Jack is far too good at lying for me to trust either of them.

"1 ( Bruce Wayne) and 9 (Paul Atreides) reluctantly team up to save the world from the threat posed by 4's (Ben Hawkins) sinister secret organization. 11 (Gareth Keenan) volunteers to help them, but it is later discovered that 11 (Gareth Keenan ) is actually a spy for 4 (Ben Hawkins). Meanwhile, 4 (Ben Hawkins) has kidnapped 12 ( Tim Canterbury) in an attempt to force their surrender. Following the wise advice of 5 (John Constantine), they seek out 3 ( Jack Bristow), who gives them what they need to complete their quest." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.

Er, no one, because maybe like one person on my list have seen Carnivale and The Office, and they probably don't read my fic anyway. I would probably write it myself if I'm feeling particularly masochistic that day. I do like wise!Constantine and Jack, however, so they can stay. The rest of it breaks my brain.

25. If you had to walk home through a bad neighbourhood late at night, would you feel safer in the company of 7 (The Narrator) or 8 (Roy Mustang)?

Totally Roy. I can just imagine being attacked by space monkeys for hanging out with The Narrator. Sheesh.

Yay for wasting lots of time!
Tags: fandom, meme
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