thedeadparrot (thedeadparrot) wrote,

Did you know?

- Soylent Green? Is people.

- AUs and crossovers are like the best things ever.

- The SGA fandom is on crack.

- Shahrukh Khan is so badass, he can make flaming rickshaws cool.

- That the House fandom needs more insane AUs. Like House as a tech support person/sysadmin!

Subject: Stop it House, seriously.
From: Lisa Cuddy <>
To: Gregory House <>

Answer the tech support e-mails seriously, House. I mean it.

Fowarded mail below
> From: Gregory House <>
> To: Edward Vogler <>
> Subject: Re: Help with the internet
> On Fri, April 8, 2005 at 11:45 AM, Edward Vogler <> wrote
> > For some reason, I can't seem to get the internet to work. Can you help me?
>> - Edward Vogler

Or on Broadway!

"Chase!" House yelled. "Stop sucking! Foreman! Pretend you care! That's what we're paying you for! Cameron! You're not on TV! You have to actually act here!"

The three actors visibly groaned, but they still went back and did their scene over again. House rolled his eyes and leaned further back in his chair, resisting the urge to kill them all. They only had another month before they started their run, and while House didn't really care what anyone thought of him personally, he wasn't going to put on a subpar show with his name on it. Wilson, who was sitting next to him, had his ear glued to a cell phone, calming Cuddy down, probably. Assuring her that everything would be going as planned. Which it was, for the most part.

However, the idiots flubbed the choreography again, so House turned his attention back to them. "Chase!" he yelled. "Stop trying to upstage Cameron! I know you're upset that you're not the prettiest anymore, but you'll just have to get over it!"

Also, of course, the dreaded High School AU.

House sleeps through math, and Wilson pokes him every few seconds because it amuses him, and because it keeps Mr. Henderson from getting too suspicious that his two of his star students really hate his class. House doesn't really care, but Wilson does. He needs recommendations for college applications, and it reflects badly on him in front of teachers if House is a complete and total jackass, instead of just kind of one.

Lisa glances back at them every once in a while and rolls her eyes. Wilson shrugs and smiles and does his best to keep House from drooling all over the desk, because that's just gross.

"So now all we need now is the derivative of cos x in order to solve this problem. Mr. House?" Mr Henderson says, pushing his wireframe glasses up his nose.

Luckily, Wilson poked him a few seconds ago, so House is actually awake enough to answer the question. "Negative sin x," he says, looking managing to look surprisingly attentive for a few seconds.

Mr. Henderson breaks into a smile. "Very good, Mr. House."

House slumps forward again as soon as Mr Henderson turns back to the board, and Wilson checks his watch. Another two minutes before the next poke.

- I should be reading 1984 right now. And doing work.

- And maybe eating.
Tags: deep thoughts, i make lists
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