Things I have spent a lot of time reading that I would probably never touch with a ten foot pole in other fandoms:
1. Soul bonding - Have I told you guys lately how much I loathe soul bonding? Arguably, it's canon, but normally I can't stand blahblahblahmadeforeachothermysticalconn
2. Pseudo-Shakespearian dialogue - Also canon, also very annoying. The use of 'thee' and 'thy' and 'thou' makes me want to cry.
3. First-person POV - This is something I would simply backbutton immediately without any mitigating factors, mostly because first person is tricky and hard to get right, and quite frankly, I just don't like to be that close up and personal with the characters.
4. Spock crying - No, seriously. I have read it. All the way to the end.
5. Loving descriptions of Spock's alien penis - Seriously, it's like the writers are having a "how weird can we make Spock's genitals?" competition. I think the tentacle thingies win, but the apparently common double-headed cock thing is still in the running. Or even the retractable penis. Or the constant use of 'jade' as an adjective.
In addition, I spent a lot of time in Canada thinking about what sort of songs would make awesomely trashy Kirk/Spock Lord King Bad Vids. My winner so far seems to be "I Will Always Love You" which is clearly about Spock's decision to go to Gol and all the stoic manpain that came with that decision. There could even be Star Trek XI footage!
It is possible that I may have just lost my mind.