thedeadparrot (thedeadparrot) wrote,

I am so behind on responding to comments and a lot of other things, but I'm just feeling really tired and unhappy. Not sure I have the energy to comment with enthusiasm right now.

Classes started today. I'm usually too stressed out and focused to be depressed about this, but I need to take four classes and pass them all this semester to graduate. I did grad-student-fail a class last semester, and I'm worried about that happening again, because if that happens, I don't get my degree. Two classes I wanted to take this semester have been scheduled right on top of one another. And one of those is scheduled right on top of another class I'm thinking about taking.

I dunno, you guys. I'm not TAing this semester, and I have accepted a job offer, and both of those things mean that I suddenly have a lot more time and a lot less stress. But I'm worried about getting through the next few months without going through a mental breakdown. I love CS, and I love this department, but I think I may have reached a point where I'm just sick of it. My parents were really pushing me towards a PhD program, and I think it's good that I decided against it. Because another 3-4 years of this sounds like hell on Earth.

I feel like I'm stuck in that really ambivalent stage of life, where you're not really sure where you're headed or even where you want to be headed, and it sucks. A lot.

I don't think I'm cut out for this whole "adult" business. I'm sure things will look better in a few days, but at the moment, it's mostly just a soul-sucking vortex of unpleasantness.

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Tags: adventures in higher learning, rl stuff
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