thedeadparrot (thedeadparrot) wrote,

I never thought I'd say this, but thank god for e-mail phishing attempts

I just got a call today from someone claiming to be the MA State Police saying I was missing a form (a mysterious form 61, in case you were wondering) in my 2012 taxes and now I had the choice between (a) getting arrested or (b) settling things with them right now.

There was a lot of stuff that was suspicious about it. First off, the accents. I don't discount that the police do hire people with foreign backgrounds and foreign accents, but this one person forwarded me to his superior officer, who had the exact same foreign accent as him, and then he gave the most whitebread name possible.

Next, okay, I know the government well enough to know that the IRS will be the ones who will go after low level tax evasion like this. No reason to farm it out to state police. Or, I guess, the FBI? IDK. The accents made things somewhat hard to follow.

They also kept repeating the words 'legal complaint' which was just odd. If there's something wrong with my taxes, it should be an audit, not a 'legal complaint'. Legal complaint from the IRS? What? And the fact that they said we could settle things right now? Make everything go away, just like that? Come on. No government agency works like that.

Still, it was nervewracking. They even pretended to send some officers to 'where she is right now' when I said I'd prefer to go to court instead of doing whatever the hell they wanted to me to do. That literal phrase. Not an address, which was a relief. Phone calls are difficult enough by themselves, but when someone's threatening to arrest you, it's even worse. Even though I sound super cool and smart and sophisticated in this post (ha), I was freaked out and half torn between believing it and thinking that it must be bullshit. That fear of 'oh shit, what if this is really real?' can take over your brain and paralyze it, which is what they're counting on. Thankfully, it didn't get the better of me.

It's interesting, because becoming savvy at the internet, at e-mail phishing scams and tricky pop up ads and down-on-their-luck Nigerian princes, means that I knew what to be suspicious of and what to watch out for when something like this happened to me. So, thanks, all you slimy assholes. I'm glad to see that you taught me well.

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